Birth Control

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YES! YES! YES! I love you Sophia!

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October

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October is a really hard month for me & it has been for most of my life actually. It’s full of ups & downs…birthdays, anniversaries of peoples deaths & I despise Halloween for multiple reasons, so I’m normally a mess during the month of October.
October is the month where I’m usually on the grid, off the grid, back on the grid & back off the grid…it’s a pretty unstable month for me in every way imaginable.
I try to be social but I know I’m awkward & depressed & I don’t want to bring others down so I end up becoming reclusive. I don’t necessarily realize I’m doing it either but when I do realize, I try to rectify it. I try to socialize but realize I’m buzz kill & it becomes a crazy circle of crap.

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#FightForIt #SilverLining #My #Life #October #Month #Suck #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Reclusive #Social #Socialize #Awkward #Hard #Difficult #Birthday #Death #Tears #Anniversary #Unstable #Halloween #Blogger #Blogging #Blog #Follow #Daily #Battle #BrokenHeart #Pain

All Year Round

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October is ALWAYS hard, but to be honest…my heart is broken all year round.
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Marriage

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I am truly the most blessed person on the planet.

No matter how badly I am feeling or what tragedy has taken place, my husband always knows how to bring me back to a place of content.

He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes sure to let me know how much he loves me and that I am not a burden in any way, no matter how much I feel like I am.

Sometimes he says the most amazing things to me and I don’t think he even realizes how amazing they are and how amazing he is.

I know that I don’t deserve him, but I’m so thankful that I have him. I’m so blessed that he asked me to be his wife those many years ago and that here we are, after all the chaos, going strong.

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Unite

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What I don’t understand about a lot of people who also battle things along the lines I do is that everything is turned into a competition. You have “X?” Well, I have “Y” and it’s worse.

No, no, no.

If that were the case, I would win MANY battles. That’s not what it’s about though. Being sick is NOT a competition and if it were, I DO NOT want to win. Hell, I don’t want to play. Period.

For those of us who wage wars daily with our bodies, we need to come together and support each other, not compare or battle each other. We may have different opinions regarding treatments, medications, etc., but what does that matter? At the end of the day, we are all sick.

Unite.

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#FightForIt #SilverLining #My #Life #Chronic #Disease #Illness #Warrior #Sick #Pain #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #UlcerativeColitis #UC #JPouch #ExocrinePancreaticInsufficiency #EPI #Dehydration #Exhausted #Migraine #JointPain #Body #Bladder #Melanoma #Female #Daily #Battle #Follow #NoCure

Strong Women

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“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.” – Ellen J. Barrier, How to Trust God When All Other Resources Have Failed

“She made broken look beautiful & strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders & made it look like a pair of wings.” – Ariana Dancu

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Unused Bravery

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I’m pretty stoked about the new drama series about to start on NBC entitled, “The Brave.”

Why? Obviously, I’m a true patriot! But beyond that, it’s a part of me…bravery. I don’t mean to sound conceited or anything else horrible, but if I had to be one hundred percent honest, I would say that I am truly one of the bravest people I know. I wasn’t really given a chance to be anything but brave, however, I would choose to be brave either way.

I sit here and often question things. Why? Why was I made to be so brave and honestly, so incredibly strong and yet, I’m forced to be STUCK at home fighting illnesses. I understand that absolutely everything is God’s work. Everything is part of God’s plan. I totally get it. I just wish I understood WHY. God gave me the strength, the courage, the heart…and I don’t understand what I’m suppose to be doing with it, other than surviving incurable illnesses of course.

I do often feel I have wasted talent, stored strength and unused bravery.

If you look up the show on the IMDB website, the synopsis will tell you this:

”The complex world of our bravest military heroes who make personal sacrifices while executing the most challenging and dangerous missions behind enemy lines.”

The show fits my personality to the letter. I want to go in and help. I want to serve my country and do everything I can to protect, save and defend it. I’m smart, I’m adaptable (CLEARLY), I can crush challenges thrown my way and I’ve proved it time and time again.

USE ME. Make me useful.

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#FightForIt #SilverLinings #My #Life #Bravery #Brave #Unused #Strength #Strong #Heart #Autoimmune #Diseases #Disease #NoCure #Purpose #God #Help #Why #Fighting #Battle #NBC #Show #Question #Questions #Blog #Blogger #Blogging #Writer #Writing #Write