Romper

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I actually surprised myself. I’m not a huge fan of rompers. But this one was on sale & looks insanely comfortable! I figure, lake house attire! 😉😁

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Pink Jacket

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Pink coat! Oh, how I love you…

I need this cute jacket like…yesterday!

I’m actually REALLY in love with fashion. If only I could afford it…

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From Tomboy to Girly Girl

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Many people disbelieve me when I say, I used to be the biggest tomboy when I was younger. I didnt really like all the girly stuff until puberty, honestly.

I played baseball with the boys. When we finally moved into our first house & out of the townhouses, I tossed the boy across the street down my front yard hill the first time I met him…haha! Just an FYI, he became my first boyfriend in the eighth grade. 😉

I wanted nothing to do with coloring my hair, painting my nails, wearing makeup…nothing. But puberty & my mother becoming a cosmologist both kind of happened at the same time & I went from one extreme to the next over night! I didn’t slowly phase from one to the other like a lot of girls do.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of getting dirty! I just don’t view it the same as I one did.

When I was thirteen, I started working in the hair salons my mother did. I worked there from thirteen until eighteen. Because of doing so, even though I was just a “shampoo girl,” I learned so much & I’m thankful for all of the attention I paid, because now, I do it all for myself.

I do not choose to be part of my mother’s shenanigans any longer, so it’s a good thing I’ve been doing it on my own for years.

Here recently though, I’ve definitely been stepping up my makeup game. It’s so much fun & rather relaxing. However, two things have always remained the same. My lashes & lips.

I am constantly being asked if I wear false lashes, what mascara I use, what lipstick do I use, & I’m asked if I wear contacts.

I have never worn contacts. I don’t wear glasses. I have great eyesight! My blue eyes come from my mother’s side. They’re reflective & rarely look the same twice, so I totally get why people think I do. I take zero offense!

I’ve also never worn false lashes-ever. They honestly scare the junk out of me along with eyelash curlers! My eyelashes are naturally light & the tips are so super light blonde, you can barely see them. They’re also very long (I got them from my daddy) & I wear the same mascara now that I wore in high school! CoverGirl Professional Super Thick Lash. I do NOT wear waterproof mascara-I hate the stuff

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My lips. I rarely wear lipstick. It’s not my thing & I have a hard time finding colors I think look good on me. I’m so ridiculously pale, but have pink undertones. It’s just hard. I use good old fashioned cherry Chapstick. Also, my husband hates lipstick, haha! He’s not trying to kiss me & get crazy color lips himself.

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Here is a picture of me today. Unedited & no filter. All I did was adjust the lining because my camera aim was way out of whack & added my name. I LOOK tan, but trust me, it’s only due to the lighting! I’m pasty, pasty! I’m what I like to call, translucent. 😜

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I’m by NO means a makeup guru or professional, but I’m happy to share any tips I can if anyone would like them! 💋

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Reflection

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WARNING
“Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed standards of beauty.”

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

When looking back to the way my body was before I got sick, was on immune suppresants (oral and IV), LOADS of steroids, many procedures, a LOT of down time from multiple surgeries…I feel like the dumbest person on the planet.

I was weighing less than one hundred pounds and still rocking kid’s clothes when I was twenty years old for Pete’s sake!

I can’t believe I thought I was fat. I would look in the mirror and cry.

RIGHT? I thought I was fat. I hated my body.

Today, I look in the mirror and still cry, but for different reasons. I see a completely different person.

“If I knew then what I know now…”

I don’t cry because of my stretch marks and my double digit amount of scars because to me, they’re reminders of what I’ve been through, continue to go through and they remind me that I am stronger than I EVER thought was possible. In fact, I find them beautiful.

I cry because I see this body I never thought I’d have. I see fat. I see cellulite. I see a huge chest, stomach, arms, legs and butt and I would give almost ANYTHING to have the body I hated before back now.

All I want is to be able to look into the mirror and at least say out loud, “I look alright.” I will settle for “alright.”

My sense of self-image is terrible and one hundred percent unhealthy. It always has been, but again, in different ways now. I would be lying if I said I didn’t look at other women and get jealous. I am SO happy they’re gorgeous and rocking it! However, I wish I had a body I could be proud of as well.

Even though I had multiple surgeries that were “supposed to help,” they really haven’t. Actually, in a lot of ways, I’m worse off now. Because of my MANY medical ailments, working out and losing weight is damn near impossible. I DO NOT lack motivation! I lack the physical abilities to do what I once could.

So every time I look in the mirror, I see something that apparently is completely different than what other people see. Others tell me I’m beautiful and strong. They see happiness and positivity. I don’t see any of that.

I do compare myself to others at times and I hate it, because I know better. I know that what is good for someone else may not be what is good for me. We’re all different and I happen to be super different. I know that God made me the way He did for a reason and when I really stop to think about it…in a sense, I’m being disrespectful to God and to myself. My journey is my own. It was given to me by God and It is TREMENDOUSLY different from the average.

I keep these words regarding society and self-image close to remind myself that comparing myself to others only does harm. I need to focus on KERRY. No one else. I’m not beautiful like others. I am beautiful like me.

Remind yourself every-single-day that YOU are beautiful…no matter what circumstances you find yourself in and remember that comparison is a thief.

Don’t let your reflection become distorted.

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Classic Style

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Classic

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A Blue Dress

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I absolutely adore this dress! The color, the belt, the ruffles…oh my gosh! It’s like someone made it just for me! 💙

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