My days are unpredictable. My body does whatever it wants, when it wants and I have no say in it whatsoever. I can feel okay in the morning and by noon, I’m struggling to make it through. I wish I could say that it was all due to one problem and I could find a cure for it, but that’s just not the reality of my situation.
I have multiple chronic ailments that are all mixed together. I take multiple medications daily and those have side effects that impair my body, mind and emotions as well. I’m literally on a merry-go-round from hell that just will not stop.
As time goes by, my list of ailments expands. I’m in a never-ending battle and I am so tired of fighting, but I will never stop. I will always fight for it.
I try my hardest to find the silver linings in everything. I do everything I can to find the good and to keep on pushing. I always will. I won’t give up, ever.
Because I’m constantly in the dark regarding things like schedules or familiarity because of this insane body of mine, finding things that are constant is such a blessing. Anything I can count on to be constant, true, and unwavering in positive ways, I embrace with everything I have.
I’m talking big things or even the smallest of things.
An example for me would be television shows. I know it sounds stupid, but they are things I can count on. They’re normally steady and they don’t change (holidays change things up a bit). “I Love Lucy” comes on every morning starting at five o’clock. I watch it every day. It’s something I KNOW will be there. The same goes for the show “Friends.” It comes on every night start at eleven o’clock and again, it’s something I can count on.
I need the stability. I need the calm during the storm.
Every day, I take my morning medications at nine thirty. I take my afternoon medications at three thirty and I talk my evening medicine at nine thirty. Do I like taking crazy amounts of medication every-single-day? No way! But it’s something scheduled. It’s something I KNOW will happen.
There are other things I can count on as well, but these are small examples.
Do you have stability in your life?
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