“You’re very open about your feelings towards your mother. Do you think she reads your blog? Do you every worry about what she might say or feel? I only ask because I have similar issues.”
These are some awesome, straight forward questions & I thank you for that!
I always keep things anonymous & I LOVE that this is known, allowing readers to be fully upfront & honest.
Yes, I’m very open about my feelings regarding my mother but please don’t be fooled. It’s taken me a long time to get here. I don’t hate my mother. I don’t wish ill upon her & I have zero intentions of hurting her feelings. I’m just sharing MY feelings & MY story.
I’m not sure if she reads my blog, but if I had to guess, I’d say she has. She knows I have one & throughout my entire life, she has ALWAYS been a snoop. She went through my room, she read my journals, she listened to phone calls, followed me (even by car), so…I would honestly be surprised if she HASN’T read my blog by now.
Do I worry about what she might say? No way. I haven’t actually spoken with the woman since January & I haven’t seen her in well over a year. She lives forty-five minutes away but can’t come see me? She knows I’m sick & when she comes to Richmond for her doctor’s appointments or to see my sister and her kids, SHE PASSES MY HOUSE. I couldn’t care less about what she has to say anymore.
Do I care about how she feels? Well, she has no feelings regarding me. I can’t care about something that doesn’t exist.
I’M NOT TRYING TO BE CRUEL…just point blank honest.
I’m so sorry to those who experience similar issues with their “mothers.” It’s not okay, it’s not fair, & it’s hurtful.
I strive to be everything she wasn’t & still isn’t. I want to be the opposite of her. Even though I will never carry a child, I want to be an aunt who loves & adores her nieces & nephews. I want to be a woman with dignity, integrity & grace. I want to be loving & kind. Everything my “mother,” is not…
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