Patience

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Patience has never been my forte. I know ADHD doesn’t help that issue-AT ALL. I’m one of those people who needs/wants results, answers, success, changes, etc.. right now!

I also have HORRIBLE anxiety issues & for those who say, “It’s all in your head. You can control it,” let me tell you, IT IS NOT that simple. It’s very real & for me, it isn’t easily controlled.

I don’t choose to have anxiety attacks at two in the morning where it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I don’t struggle to catch a good, deep breath in because it’s fun. I get heart palpitations, I can’t sit still, I turn super pale (even more than my natural super pale self) & all color drains from my face. I sweat, feel like my entire body is on fire, & what makes ALL of that stuff worse is that I feel like a part of me detaches from what is actually real. I freak & feel the need to get away from everyone & everything.

The only people I know who would CHOOSE to go through something like this, are those who seek attention. I can assure you that if I want attention, I will ask for it. 😂

Everything seems to be a full circle. My lack of patience, need for solutions or results & my need for answers all seem to lead me to anxiety attacks.

The solution is so incredibly simple & right in front of me but OCD makes me feel like I should be able to control it. I feel I NEED to control it all.

Nope.

I need to still myself & trust God. I do trust Him & I KNOW His plans for me are greater than anything I could imagine. It’s this physical form of myself that I need to chill out with. My brain needs to shush so I can focus on opening my heart for God to take over.

So, while anxiety is not just in my head, the discipline issues I have regarding letting go & having patience are absolutely in my head. I’m in serious need for some soul searching & communication with my almighty God. That’s EXACTLY what I intend on working on, right now!

#FightForIt #Christian #Faith #Trust #Belief #Love #Life #MyHeart #God #Peace #Strength #Constant #Pray #DigDeep #Priorities #Grateful  #Jesus #Blessed #Soul #Searching #Sacrifices #HeDiedForMe #LetGo #Patience #Communication

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